“Friendship with ones self is all important, because without is one cannot be friend with anyone else in the world.” ( Eleanor Roosevelt)
Some people are not kind to themselves. They focus to their mistakes and faults and use their time to criticize and judge themselves. “How to love yourself” is the title of a chapter written by Louise Hay’ book, The Power Is Within You. She has developed step list to begin loving yourself. Here is a summary of the list:
1. Stop criticizing yourself
Some people may have experienced criticism as a child. Their parents told them, “What is wrong with you?” and they may have been called names such as stupid, bad, careless, dumb, sloppy, worthless, dirty, etc. There could be reasons from childhood that someone feels that they are not good enough, and since found ways to to be miserable. We are not perfect and we should not pretend to be. Accept and respect who you are and stop criticizing yourself.
2. Stop scaring yourself
We all have frightful thoughts. Some think about a future situation as the worse-case scenario, or take a small problem and make it a huge one. They could go with scary thoughts for days or months. It is not a good way to take care of yourself. If the negative, scary thoughts come to you, try to replace the negative thoughts with some positive and pleasant images. You can command yourself and say, No, I am not going to think about it negatively, I’d rather think about lovely and pleasant moments.
3. Be patient with yourself
Most of us are not patient and expect to see the results of our work immediately. We apply for something, send a request, and do our effort for a project and we cannot wait. We want answers right now. You can think of your mind as a garden. The law of nature is patient. Patience with yourself is hope. You plant a seed of joy, and prosperity and you have to be patient to see the results. In the beginning it feels like nothing happens, but don’t give up, keep hope in your mind. You may make mistakes, but they are necessary steppingstones in your journey. Mistakes give you valuable
4. Learn to be kind to your mind
Being kind to yourself means not blaming yourself, stop feeling guilty, and punishing yourself. Being kind to yourself means giving time to yourself to relax, take some deep breaths. Give time to yourself for meditation. Some people mystify meditation, but others use it to find silence and focus on breathing, Walking in a park or in woods, or gardening are also forms of meditation. It is about finding a way to love yourself, and feel joy and peace.
5. Praise yourself
Praise builds your inner spirit. Some people easily criticize themselves formistakes they have done but they have difficulties prais themselves . We could be hard on ourselves and think we do not deserve the good. Accept the good whether you think you deserve it or not. When you praise yourself, you begin to feel you really deserve the praise.
6. Support yourself
You support yourself by asking people in your network to help you. It is strength to ask for help and not a weakness. Some people do not ask for help in a time when they need support from others. They think by not asking, they show that they are self-reliant and self sufficient. The problem is that it could be hard to do alone without support form others and it just makes them more stressed.
7. Love your negatives
Every one can make mistakes, we can make negative choices. Most people punish themselves for mistakes and negative choices. Some keep repeat negative thoughts about themselves and it becomes a habit of negative thinking that harms self esteem. Forgive yourselves, laugh at yourself, learn to love your negatives because your negatives can be develop your strengths.
8. Take care of your body
Our body is the house of our soul. We should love our body and take care of it. Food is important for our body and we should think about what we give to our body every day. Our body needs to move and exercise, find something you enjoy. Lack of sleep can harm our body in many ways, so we must give ourselves enough time to sleep. Love your body no matter what shape you have. You get your perfect body by loving it, not by hating it.
9. Do mirror work: say “ I love you”
Louise Hay emphasizes on Mirror Work. She suggests that you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “ I love you. What can I do for you today? How can I make you happy? “ If something unpleasant happens, say , “ I love you anyway.” If something good happens to you, say, “Thank you.” You can forgive yourself in the mirror. You can talk with other people at the mirror and forgive them.
10. Love yourself NOW!
“Once you learn to love yourself, you begin to love and accept other people. “ ( Louise Hay). Loving yourself and accepting yourself should be unconditional, even if you may be unsatisfied with your condition. If you wait to love yourself until you have the “perfect” condition, you would love yourself conditioned to something. True love is unconditional.